boogily boogily boogily

no, that was from my sassy girl...jeez don't you know your korean music? haha
hey, does anyone have that brown eyes music video where this guy gets stranded on an island and then this girl takes care of him and they become all like that tom hank's movie (castaway) except instead of a ball they have each other. and then, at the end this plane comes and the guy fakes leaving on the plane but then he comes back and they embrace? I've been wanting to watch that one again for so long but I think I lost it some time ago...=(

You know what's funny? It's so hard to make a decision sometime since there's so much viable evidence on both sides (is everything so black and white). But then...once you make a decision you're so stuck with it. Like I decided to go home, but then I couldn't go home reasonably because of the blizzard and my grandpa was strongly against it. and it took me a long time dealing with this guilt that I didn't go home and going against what became something like "my gut feeling."

It's hard to know what gut feelings are. This is what I've concluded so far..., whenever I feel a gut feeling about something, I first think about why I would have this gut feeling. About half of the time, if I think about it..I'm basing it off something that has no concrete evidence...like I think today is going to be a bad day because I tripped on the door when I was running out of my room to brush my teeth. Other times I realize that I'm basing it on something that makes sense. However, sometimes I have no idea what I based it on and that leaves room for mysticism...or maybe it's just my imagination.

Finally, I've been thinking a lot about death after reading about Big Jimmy dying suddenly and my grandma. and actually some time ago I was strangely convinced that I was going to die. Death really puts things in perspective so quickly. I remember I was reading Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" I guess as a coincidence. During that time, I decided to do everything that I thought I wanted to do but was too afraid to do. I told people things and talked to them in a way where I was completely honest with them and told them things I thought they should know because once you're dead, then...you can't. I don't know if we should always live our lives like that but it makes you think about what things are really important. It can even be simple things like if you think someone is awesome or cute, and you know for some reason they don't think they are and you're afraid it'll sound weird if you tell them. You really have to live life (or maybe it's easier but more dangerous?) being honest to yourself and to other people.